why didn't you poke me back
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
