Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
