i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
