For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Randomize
