Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
It's shark week go big or go home
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize