my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
