i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
