So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
