All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
