you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
