do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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