You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
