Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
