yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
