This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Randomize
