Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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