We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
