At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize