I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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