Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I need to stop coming to work sober
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
