i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
The chlamydia really affected his face.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
