Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize