It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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