I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
