respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Randomize
