wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Success! We fucked roommates!
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize