do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Its about making memories worth repressing
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
