You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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