You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
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