hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
