Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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