The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
