dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
