We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
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