did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize