Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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