what day is it and did you see me today?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
We got so high we made milksteak
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
you made out with another girl for some wings
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