but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Blood and glitter go together right?
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
