Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
this will be a night to untag.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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