Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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