OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
