This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize