I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Randomize
