his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
