tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
