school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
