apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
