I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
