Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Randomize
