You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
