All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
