Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Randomize
