And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
