I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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