i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
He? As in you personified your dick?
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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