his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
