remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
