I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
