Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
