just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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