so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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