apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
