i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
