he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
