When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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