enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
