she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
