He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
