i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
