South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
