she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
