You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Randomize
