that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
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