His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
