you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
