Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
