I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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